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But I wanted this pain and this struggle to be over with."

Asked how his children were supposed to process that because it was like he threw a grenade in the middle of the family, Smart said, "That grenade had been building for so many years that when it had an opportunity of going off, it was ready to."

He recounted the children's reactions ranged between "Well, dad, if you're gay, you're gay.

And yes, it would have been nice if they had been in front of me.

ed smart gay

I know that they're processing this they're probably struggling though this. Smart first made headlines in 2002 when he and Lois made desperate pleas for help in finding their kidnapped daughter then 14-year-old Elizabeth, who was found after nine months of harrowing captivity. He said what stopped him was “I still have a strong belief in God, I thought Elizabeth’s return was a miracle,” he said.

Now, at age 64, Ed has come to terms with his sexual orientation and identity, marking this new chapter in life with a return to the dating scene.   

"I was not very good at dating when I was dating women!" he joked. 

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Smart said he was worried his secret would be revealed.
 
"You know here we are the front page of the Enquirer," Smart said.

"So did the police at one point view you as a suspect?" King asked.

"The thing is, when a child goes missing, the first ones that they have to look at is the family," Smart responded.

He explained one of the theories police had about Elizabeth's abduction: "They potentially thought that somebody was blackmailing me… because I was gay."

"That somehow I was having this gay affair, which was absolutely not," Smart said.

Why do I find this guy super attractive?' And I just wanted to push it down and, you know, 'Please go away. Smart said spilling the truth felt like throwing a grenade into the middle of his family. They were very touchy-feely,' the eyewitness said

'Somehow, this person I've loved my whole life thinks I'm a horrible person, that really tears me',' Smart told host Gayle King on CBS This Morning in December.

'I'm sure, she feels betrayed like, ''what was my marriage?''

'I mean, during the course of our marriage, you know, there were times where I would have these feelings come up,' Smart said.

You know, this is not me. While out in the parking lot of Starbucks we saw Ed kiss his male friend, a kiss that last for several seconds'

'Even though Ed was out in the open for everyone to see, he didn't seem to care who saw his public displays of affection toward his male friend. But I do feel their love and I'm very grateful for that,' Smart told host Gayle King.

I don't need this in my life''.' 

But Louis confronted him four years ago and asked him, 'Ed, are you gay?'

'I said, ''What does that mean?'' Smart said, 'Does that mean that I've been unfaithful to her? Does that mean that I have, you know, gone out and been with other men?'

When King asked, 'had you?' Smart responded, 'Absolutely not.

We had many good years together.' Was I fighting this internal fight? He said he thought Lois was "the one."

"I mean, really did.

'I do have a relationship with my children.

'Even though Ed was out in the open for everyone to see, he didn't seem to care who saw his public displays of affection toward his male friend.

Yes, I was," he said.

Smart said he'd rather have people hear his truth from him rather than the rumor mill. Pictured: Lois, Elizabeth and Smart in 2004

The source added: 'Ed and the gentlemen, who was about Ed's age, were obviously more than just friends. She said Elizabeth and all of his other kids were surprised at first that he came out but quickly showed him love and support. 

"Elizabeth said to me, 'dad whether you're gay or not, I want you in my life,'" he recalled. 

Ed spoke to Inside Edition in Utah where he was speaking at the Encircle Summit, an educational event for the LGBTQI+ community. 

"People need to understand that it's not something learned, people are born the way they are born,” he said.

Ed's self-acceptance came after years of struggling, including times in which he contemplated taking his own life.

"And I felt like, you know, this is not where I want my life to go. But I do feel their love. They were very touchy-feely.'

Both Smart and his male friend dressed casually in jeans and a light coat.

The eyewitness said: 'After some playful banter and hugging, Ed and the male friend got into a vehicle and drove away.' 

Smart first made headlines in 2002 when he and Lois made desperate pleas for help in finding their kidnapped then 14-year-old daughter Elizabeth, who was found after nine months of harrowing captivity.